Hopefully the Cipro isn't depleting important brain matter....
I did not make it out of the apartment today, just didn't feel well enough. It was interesting to be here with all of the windows open all day and hearing all of the sounds of the people strolling up and down Jabotinsky rather than the loud cars I am used to. I periodically went to the window to look out -- in broad day light it was not quite as interesting as what I wrote in the blog post about last night.
I kept myself busy today praying, not something I really planned on doing, it just happened and I'm glad I did. First I did a little Shabbat specific praying by going through the Shabbat service Rachel and I created for the Shabbat service we hosted the weekend of my conversion. I hadn't looked through that in quite some time -- I was looking in my original tallis bag and found it -- and it really felt good to become familiar with it again. I actually found myself thinking that right now in my life I don't feel the need to become Bat Mitzvah, that in many ways my conversion experience and the before mentioned service was kind of like a Bat Mitzvah -- I was called to the Torah in that I gave a D'var Torah on that week's portion and brought together many family and friends to pray with Rachel and I and to celebrate my becoming Jewish. Who knows what time will bring, and I'll go with the flow. I then read the entirety of the morning, afternoon, memorial and concluding services since I was missing all of it. I know that a big part of prayer is that it is something done within a larger community, but I kind of liked being alone today -- I felt better able to really read, understand and reflect on the liturgy. Turns out I'm glad I read the prayerbook cover to cover as Rachel reminded me that the URJ is releasing a new prayerbook next year. I had post-it notes with me and marked some places where the liturgy really struck me or where I had questions and wanted to ask Rachel for some insight when she got home -- what can I say, I keep her on her toes.
I was still praying when sunset came and went. At 5:57pm I heard the first car drive past me on Jabotinsky. At 6:07pm I heard a second car. Then at 6:13pm a third car went by and the floodgates were opened. Within 20 minutes it sounded like just another day in Jerusalem -- car after car, scooter after scooter went by, and just like it was 24 hours ago, the horns they were a' blowin'. The unique and special experience I witnessed, the quiet and calm, the innocence and quiet of Yom Kippur disappeared quickly and it became just another night on the streets of J'lem -- loud and annoying. I quickly got up and shut the windows, trying to hold on to that peaceful quiet a little longer but resigned to the fact that not even closed windows can keep the world from spinning onwards. Time, it moves forward, whether we like it or not.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Yom Kippur -- And Amy's Sick Again
Yup, the funky nasty bacteria I had 5 weeks ago is back with a vengeance, which means the Cipro I took that is quite good at killing anthrax didn't do the job for me. So I'm back on Cipro and probably will be for 10 days total to make sure it's all gone this time. I hate to think of what else will be wiped out as well. I've basically been sick since I got here so I'm anxiously awaiting sustained health!!!
Not only have I not been able to attend Yom Kippur services -- if you could see me right now I'm not exactly crying about it :) -- but I cannot go on the HUC tiyul (trip) to the Golan Heights and the Galilee. Between my foot that hurts so bad at times that it is difficult to walk and my unpredictable GI tract, along with a slew of other smaller, related problems, it just isn't going to happen. It won't be good for me and it won't be good for the group, but that doesn't erase the disappoint both Rachel and I feel about me not sharing this interesting experience with her. But who knows, maybe we will have a chance to take a few days and go north and she can show me all of the cool stuff that she sees on the trip. She leaves early Sunday morning and will be back late Tuesday evening. I just keep telling myself that the rest will really be good for me in a lot of ways and worth it in the end.
I slept in on Friday while Rachel went with a friend to the shuk to pick up some last minute necessities and to see the Kaparot near the shuk. A brief description of what Kaparot is reads as follows from a random website: [The original form of the kaparot ceremony involves taking a chicken (a white rooster for a male, hen for a female) and waving it over one’s head while reciting this prayer: "This is my exchange, this is my substitute, this is my atonement. This chicken will go to its death while I will enter and proceed to a good long life, and peace." Then the chicken is slaughtered and it (or its cash value) is given to the poor.]
Okay, so I would not have gone even if I was feeling perfect as I am too sensitive to the pain and suffering of all living creatures. That being said, I think people who participate in this are lying to themselves. It is not a "ritual." It is a sacrifice, in my oh so humble opinion, something that has supposedly been abandoned since the destruction of the 2nd temple. How can a person "exchange, substitute, atone" for their own sins by tormenting, torturing and slaughtering a live, innocent chicken which I'm sure if you asked if that is what it wanted it would most certainly say no. I mean, come on, how would you like for someone to grab and squeeze your arms together and swing you hard and fast over their head, probably breaking shoulder bones in the process and then pulling your head back and slitting your throat. Then they would throw you in some watery stuff that drains your blood while your killer throws sawdust on your blood to "make it all go away." Personally, if I were the Creator upstairs, I'd kind of laugh at the folks who really believe that they can exchange all sins and transgressions for a chicken. If it were that easy, chickens would be an overproduced and overpriced bird as people stupidly believed that they could do whatever they wanted as long as they had a chicken to absolve all of their sins. If there is a redeeming factor it is that the chicken or the monetary equivalent is given to the poor. Or else the chicken ends up in the shuk and is sold to people like me -- talk about funky nasty bacteria!!! If Rachel has a chance, she might be able to elaborate on Kapparot in a less emotional and more intellectual way as I clearly am quite biased. As I write all of this I acknowledge that I eat meat that I'm sure comes from inhumane slaughter -- although not so much here I guess since kosher meat is supposedly slaughtered humanely and it's really hard to find non-kosher meat -- but in the states this is not so. Rachel and I have been talking a lot lately about slowly bringing the ideas behind ethical kashrut into our daily lives, so I am happy to say that we are trying to start living by our words and will be moving to a city and state that makes it easy to be ethical and environmentally friendly in terms of foods.
I didn't make it to dinner at our friend's apartment with Rachel, not that I could have eaten anything, but I did manage to shower and meet her so we could walk to HUC for Kol Nidre. What we had heard about YK in J'lem is most certainly true. By 5pm all of the traffic lights were blinking yellow and the walk signals were blinking red. There were almost no cars left on the roads at that point. We met some friends and walked to the sanctuary together. My prediction turned out to be correct -- there were no seats and people were bringing in plastic chairs. We luckily got some of the first plastic chairs and sat down for the service. I went specifically for Kol Nidre and didn't make it much past that before leaving to go back home. Rachel had told me that it is customary for people from all over to meet on Emek Refaim and walk down the street after Kol Nidre. I obviously wasn't doing this, and when I left HUC there were officially no cars on the streets, so I joined others in walking down the middle of typically very busy and congested streets the whole way home (King David and Keren Ya Hasod specifically).
Once inside, I turned on the TV to see what on earth is playing on Yom Kippur in Jerusalem. Well, absolutely nothing. All of the cable channels but one random channel said that broadcasting would resume at 20:00 the following day. There were also some random news channels on, mostly different BBC channels but no Israeli news channels. I actually read through the evening service in our prayer book at home and then spent a lot of time watching people walking up and down Jabotinsky, yet another normally busy street. It being night and very dark outside made it seem very fictional. If there was no noise I envisioned a scene from a horror movie or something, like all of these zombies walking around in their white clothes. And it seemed so nonsensical to see all of these people on Jabotinsky that I again fictionalized it and thought of a good ole end of the world Hollywood flick where the only thing people knew to do was to wander the streets. Rachel pointed out that this is kind of weird while I call it imaginative and creative. The one thing that really stuck out was the 4 teenage girls, walking, holding hands and singing beautifully, wearing white robe type things. I immediately thought of the film O Brother Where Art Thou when the 3 men come across the 3 women singing on the river's banks. It's interesting how universal religious connotations can end up being.
Not only have I not been able to attend Yom Kippur services -- if you could see me right now I'm not exactly crying about it :) -- but I cannot go on the HUC tiyul (trip) to the Golan Heights and the Galilee. Between my foot that hurts so bad at times that it is difficult to walk and my unpredictable GI tract, along with a slew of other smaller, related problems, it just isn't going to happen. It won't be good for me and it won't be good for the group, but that doesn't erase the disappoint both Rachel and I feel about me not sharing this interesting experience with her. But who knows, maybe we will have a chance to take a few days and go north and she can show me all of the cool stuff that she sees on the trip. She leaves early Sunday morning and will be back late Tuesday evening. I just keep telling myself that the rest will really be good for me in a lot of ways and worth it in the end.
I slept in on Friday while Rachel went with a friend to the shuk to pick up some last minute necessities and to see the Kaparot near the shuk. A brief description of what Kaparot is reads as follows from a random website: [The original form of the kaparot ceremony involves taking a chicken (a white rooster for a male, hen for a female) and waving it over one’s head while reciting this prayer: "This is my exchange, this is my substitute, this is my atonement. This chicken will go to its death while I will enter and proceed to a good long life, and peace." Then the chicken is slaughtered and it (or its cash value) is given to the poor.]
Okay, so I would not have gone even if I was feeling perfect as I am too sensitive to the pain and suffering of all living creatures. That being said, I think people who participate in this are lying to themselves. It is not a "ritual." It is a sacrifice, in my oh so humble opinion, something that has supposedly been abandoned since the destruction of the 2nd temple. How can a person "exchange, substitute, atone" for their own sins by tormenting, torturing and slaughtering a live, innocent chicken which I'm sure if you asked if that is what it wanted it would most certainly say no. I mean, come on, how would you like for someone to grab and squeeze your arms together and swing you hard and fast over their head, probably breaking shoulder bones in the process and then pulling your head back and slitting your throat. Then they would throw you in some watery stuff that drains your blood while your killer throws sawdust on your blood to "make it all go away." Personally, if I were the Creator upstairs, I'd kind of laugh at the folks who really believe that they can exchange all sins and transgressions for a chicken. If it were that easy, chickens would be an overproduced and overpriced bird as people stupidly believed that they could do whatever they wanted as long as they had a chicken to absolve all of their sins. If there is a redeeming factor it is that the chicken or the monetary equivalent is given to the poor. Or else the chicken ends up in the shuk and is sold to people like me -- talk about funky nasty bacteria!!! If Rachel has a chance, she might be able to elaborate on Kapparot in a less emotional and more intellectual way as I clearly am quite biased. As I write all of this I acknowledge that I eat meat that I'm sure comes from inhumane slaughter -- although not so much here I guess since kosher meat is supposedly slaughtered humanely and it's really hard to find non-kosher meat -- but in the states this is not so. Rachel and I have been talking a lot lately about slowly bringing the ideas behind ethical kashrut into our daily lives, so I am happy to say that we are trying to start living by our words and will be moving to a city and state that makes it easy to be ethical and environmentally friendly in terms of foods.
I didn't make it to dinner at our friend's apartment with Rachel, not that I could have eaten anything, but I did manage to shower and meet her so we could walk to HUC for Kol Nidre. What we had heard about YK in J'lem is most certainly true. By 5pm all of the traffic lights were blinking yellow and the walk signals were blinking red. There were almost no cars left on the roads at that point. We met some friends and walked to the sanctuary together. My prediction turned out to be correct -- there were no seats and people were bringing in plastic chairs. We luckily got some of the first plastic chairs and sat down for the service. I went specifically for Kol Nidre and didn't make it much past that before leaving to go back home. Rachel had told me that it is customary for people from all over to meet on Emek Refaim and walk down the street after Kol Nidre. I obviously wasn't doing this, and when I left HUC there were officially no cars on the streets, so I joined others in walking down the middle of typically very busy and congested streets the whole way home (King David and Keren Ya Hasod specifically).
Once inside, I turned on the TV to see what on earth is playing on Yom Kippur in Jerusalem. Well, absolutely nothing. All of the cable channels but one random channel said that broadcasting would resume at 20:00 the following day. There were also some random news channels on, mostly different BBC channels but no Israeli news channels. I actually read through the evening service in our prayer book at home and then spent a lot of time watching people walking up and down Jabotinsky, yet another normally busy street. It being night and very dark outside made it seem very fictional. If there was no noise I envisioned a scene from a horror movie or something, like all of these zombies walking around in their white clothes. And it seemed so nonsensical to see all of these people on Jabotinsky that I again fictionalized it and thought of a good ole end of the world Hollywood flick where the only thing people knew to do was to wander the streets. Rachel pointed out that this is kind of weird while I call it imaginative and creative. The one thing that really stuck out was the 4 teenage girls, walking, holding hands and singing beautifully, wearing white robe type things. I immediately thought of the film O Brother Where Art Thou when the 3 men come across the 3 women singing on the river's banks. It's interesting how universal religious connotations can end up being.
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