Bush Is Gone, And This Is What We Have Left

There are still lots of posters like these around town. The "Even Bush...." was recycled -- it was originally the same image with "Even Annapolis Can't Save You" around the time of the peace summit in Annapolis. Another great poster that I didn't get a photo of showed a large bible with "Holy Bible" and a large cross on it and it read "Read Your Bible Bush -- God Gave Israel to the Jews." Gotta love propaganda.

An Update, Since It's Been A While

Well, it's amazing how quickly the days of lack of communication can add up. It's been a while. Sort of like a diet or a new hobby, taking a few days off of blogging can quickly turn into weeks. But I don't believe in starting over, just in picking up where I left off and recommitting. So, here goes.

I have been sick many of these last few weeks, which does give me somewhat of a good excuse for not blogging. First a stomach flu, and now bronchitis. I feel like I have been sick far more days than not since arriving in Israel. I've been told that it is actually quite normal, and that many people who move to Israel are sick a lot the first year. Too bad I'm only here a year, then. Hopefully the adjustment and first year back in the States won't be a similar experience. The good thing is my time here is my time, and if I need to rest and do nothing I have that luxury. I've been trying real hard not to get Rachel sick, as she has been in the throws of final exams and will be heading to the States in a few days to see her family and attend a Wexner conference. Okay, I'll take that as a good transition.

Rachel has finished final exams as of today and has completed 1/10 of her rabbinic education. She has assigned the 5 letters in the word "RABBI" to her 5 years of school. Since she is now half way through her first year she has earned the status of "r." And trust me folks, she has earned it. Rachel worked really, really hard this semester and has achieved a lot. It was a huge change to go from full time work doing something she loved and was great at to being a full time student and not knowing too much about it all before starting. I'm extremely proud of her. She is going to do amazing things in her career and will impact people's lives and communities in stellar ways.

I just realized that with Rachel being finished with 1/10 of her graduate education, I too am 1/10 finished with my rebetsin-in-training education. How am I doing you might ask? Well, I stopped making Rachel's lunch about a month or two after starting, I have resorted to spot cleaning and refuse to mop the floors (they're just going to get dirty again), there is a weekly standoff over who will do the dishes (we don't have a dishwasher) and I slack when it comes to cooking dinner. But I can redeem myself. I do all of the laundry, keep the toilet in tip top shape for us and guests, go to the shuk and grocery store, run other errands (I'm looking around the apartment right now trying to think of other things to tell you) and, um, other things as needed. But chores and errands won't be what this rebetsin is about. I try really hard to be an active member in Rachel's community, to support her and her colleagues in their ambitions, celebrate Shabbat and holidays with everyone, share parts of my personal life with her community to raise awareness of important issues and to connect spouses and families with these future rabbis, cantors and educators. Rachel may have to run out for lunch more often than she'd like in the future, and we may find ourselves saying "gosh the floors got dirty today when the kids were playing" far too many times when we welcome guests into our home, but I will always be there in body, mind and spirit when she and her congregants and community need me. That, my friends, is a promise.

So when I'm not sick and miserable or playing rebetsin, I spend a lot of time at Crossroads Center as a volunteer social worker and librarian. I help run the Moadon on Wednesday nights, which is 4 hours when the TV is off and the kids can only do email on the computers (no youtube or other videos). So they are at a loss, and we help engage them, usually in card games, conversation, music, art and cooking. I also am working on creating a library for the center. They used to have one, and they have tons of great books. I have been working with some great kids to sort through all of the books, categorize them and enter them on a spreadsheet and then label them and put them on the shelves. It's a slow and tedious project that would sometimes go a lot faster if the kids weren't helping, but that's not what it's about, and as the shelves start to fill up we are all able to take pride in this project. A lot of the kids do love to read. I hope to start a book group and get at least one book read before I leave Jerusalem. If I can have a well ordered and user friendly library system in place for Crossroads before I leave I will be very, very happy, and so will they. Once the library is organized, I will have library hours 2 or 3 times a week, which is basically just an excuse to create another opportunity for the Center to engage the kids in meaningful conversation. The Crossroads Center http://crossroadsjerusalem.org/ is a truly amazing place with educated, talented and experienced staff, and the Executive Director has done remarkable things with it. If you're ever looking for a worthy place to make a tax deductible donation, please consider Crossroads. It's very gratifying work for me. The kids are great and are full of potential. I have made some very meaningful relationships and with my mamosh way of connecting with the kids I have made a real difference (this was told to me by a social worker -- nice to know I have a purpose there).

I have created many healing opportunities for myself here in Jerusalem which keep me busy in a really good way. I try to find the time and inspiration to paint, and I'm in the very early stages of teaching myself to play guitar, a dream I've had for many years. I do a great deal of walking but always forget that I usually have my camera with me. I need to take a lot more pictures and videos before I leave. We have reached the point where we need to start doing all of the things we have said "we'll do that before we leave" about, as time is surprisingly ticking away rather quickly. I'm trying to locate firewood right now for our great little wood burning stove, and I have enlisted the help and interest of others in making a pulley system so that we can pull bags up from the ground instead of schlepping them up 5 flights which can be very difficult at times. Whoever rents this apartment after us would greatly benefit from this.

"Visiting hours" have begun for us. We got to spend time with a friend from Washington, DC a few weeks ago, and Rachel's cousin is in the country right now on a Birthright trip. In less than a month my Mom and her best friend will be here followed by Rachel's parents and then my sister and hopefully my Dad. Other friends are considering making the trip, so we have a lot of company headed our way which is exciting. Rachel and I plan to go to Turkey with my mom and her friend while they are here and hopefully to Petra with Rachel's parents. We wanted to go to Cairo towards the end of Rachel's break but it is too expensive, so we may just end up staying in a posh cabin in the Galilee at some point which is fine by me. We are headed to St. Petersburg, Russia for Pesach to help lead sedars in progressive communities that do not have a rabbi. We've heard it's an amazing city and are very excited about this opportunity.

We've had no choice but to start talking about what we are doing when we leave Israel. We have a few weeks between leaving Israel and arriving in Washington, DC that will be busily spent in Cincinnati, Barboursville and Athens, trying to see family and friends and prepare for the move to LA before we go to WDC for 6 weeks where Rachel will be running the Machon Kaplan program for the Religious Action Center, a social justice and politics program for Jewish college students from around the country. I have no plans other than to spend lots of time with the people that I love, so if you have any part-time job ideas for me, please pass them along. At some point during those 6 weeks we will head out to LA for a quick trip to try and hopefully buy a condo or small home or rent an apartment if the buying thing doesn't happen. When we are finished in WDC we will have to start making our way west pretty quickly so that we have time to get settled before Rachel begins school. We're thinking about buying one of our cars at least (we'll need 2, gulp, in LA as we did in DC) and towing it behind a U-Haul, making the cross country trip we've always wanted to make. Once we're settled we'll have someone fly out with the cats, and our family will finally be reunited. I have decided not to start graduate school in the fall. I was planning to get my MSW from USC but have decided that it is not right for me at this time and very well may never be. I have a huge interest in becoming an acupuncturist rather than a social work therapist, and I will explore that option once I am in LA. Regardless of what I end up deciding and doing, I do not want to commit to any schools right away and simply want to get out west, hopefully find a really cool and interesting and better paying job and just work, which is something I really do enjoy, much more so than being a student. A steady income will help our future plans become more of a reality.

Well folks, I think I've updated you on a lot and can't really think of much more to say right now except that starting today, for 3 full days, Israel will be a good 50% dumber than its normal decent intellect due to the mere fact that W has come for a visit. Sure wish we had Comedy Central. And on that note, consider this a new commitment to the blog, so you'll hopefully hear from me again sooner rather than later. I have yet to tell you all about my Christmas in Israel experience where I on the spur of the moment walked with a group of German Lutheran pilgrims from a church in the Old City of Jerusalem to Manger Square and the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem on Christmas Eve. It was an interesting and powerful experience, one that I have yet to be able to articulate, thus my not sharing it with you yet. I'm working on it, though, so stay tuned.

A happy, healthy and joyous New Year to you all.

The FSU Project

We are very excited to tell you about a project we are participating in, and we need your support. This coming April, over 40 student of HUC-JIR will be traveling abroad to help lead Passover sedars in the Former Soviet Union. The delegation will be traveling to more than twenty communities throughout Russia, Ukraine and Belarus in order to lead seders and conduct educational programming for these under served communities. There are only 6 progressive Rabbi's in the whole FSU who are expected to serve over 100 progressive communities in the region.

In order to prepare for this trip, students are required to fundraise. The trip costs on average $2,000 per student, so we need to raise $4,000 (we are both going), and this money goes toward plane tickets, visas, hotels, and supplies for the seders as well as donations to each community, which will enable them to continue observing Passover in the years to come.

Please consider supporting this project. Tax-deductible donations can be made online at http://www.pesachproject.com/. PLEASE DESIGNATE "FSU PESACH PROJECT" IN THE DROP DOWN MENU.

Additionally, contributions may be sent by mail to:
HUC-JIR
Attn: Diane Bongard
3101 Clifton Avenue
Cincinnati, OH 45220

Thanks,

Amy and Rachel

20 years ago, unbeknownst to me, my father went on a trip to the Soviet Union to work with "refuseniks" (Soviet Jews who were denied permission to emigrate abroad). Not until we picked him up from the airport at the conclusion of his trip did I learn about his true mission. I know this was a transformative experience for my father and something that I thought about a lot as a child, which is why I am thrilled to be able to visit these communities, 20 years later, and learn with them by helping them experience a Passover sedar. The transformation is amazing and it is critical to continue to support their ongoing development. ~Rachel Joseph Marah

You can check out our website at: http://info@pesachproject.com/.

Announcements

The following announcement was sent via email to HUC students:

Israelphone – After this has happened to a few students, I found out that Cellcom (the company that Israelphone is connected to) turns phones off if they see outgoing calls to the West Bank, Aza or Arab countries. They assume that the phone is lost or stolen. They are supposed to call and check before they shut it off but apparently this hasn't been the case. If you have friends or family that you are calling in these areas, let me know and it will be noted by the company. Otherwise, avoid calling from your cellphone. This is a Cellcom policy not Israelphone.

So all HUC students and their families have to rent cell phones from Israelphone for the entire year. Who would have thought that politics could affect a cell phone company in this manner. After last night's blog entry I found this to be highly appropriate. God forbid a Jew and/or Israeli have a friend on the other side. If someone is to call the West Bank, Gaza or an Arab country, it's not something that is done in peace and innocence; rather, it is because some Arab hoodlum steals an innocent Jews cell phone and makes calls to their Arab place of residence to plan the next bombing. Yeah yeah, I know -- a little extreme. But you get the point.

So, About That "Annapolis" Thing

I hope you aren't expecting some eloquent statement on how the Middle East conflict can be resolved. I am in kindergarten when it comes to this subject. The night is young in Jerusalem. As I look out our front apartment window, I see bumper to bumper traffic coming up and down Jabotinsky, a major street in Jerusalem. The President lives at the top of the hill, and I imagine there are several check points up that way. A stark contrast to the quiet, car free street I wrote about on Yom Kippur. I was working at Crossroads this afternoon, leaving there about a quarter after 6. When I walked out to Yaffo Street, I was slightly surprised by the amounts of people out and about. I walked up Ben Yehuda to King George, and the throngs of people increased. By the end of tonight I can't even imagine the number of falafel balls that will have been consumed by the hungry masses. I started walking on King George towards my apartment, a good little jaunt, and I quickly became disturbed. Who made up the masses in Jerusalem tonight? Who was out on the streets rallying for Israel? Kids, well, children really. All of the seminaries (girls) and yeshivas (boys) from Jerusalem and surrounding cities and suburbs dropped their children off to represent the supposed multitudes. Mind you many of them seemed to be of Anglo origin. The children were sent to dance and sing and make noise for Israel. I saw an awful lot of groups of boys and girls just sitting around, watching each other, more interested in doing kid things like playing Red Rover, Red Rover with their eyes, as they are not allowed to actually touch each other. Those that danced, danced with excitement, but I have a feeling they were dancing more for fun than because of some deep political belief they are told to hold by their parents and Rabbis. To me they looked like dancing pawns in an intellectually challenging game of political chess. I fear what the check mate might bring. I had no choice but to plow through the masses that were gathered in the thousands on King George in front of the stage full of Israeli flags and singing Black Hats. I couldn't understand the lyrics, nor could I read the signs. I was too busy using my broad shoulders and wide hips to snake a path through the insanity. There is so much misunderstanding, between Jews even, not to mention including the Arabs in that dichotomy. There were groups of secular Israeli children dancing, being laughed at by the religious Israeli children who didn't understand that the secular kids were making fun of them. The chaos that is Jerusalem tonight to me and my limited experience had nothing to do with politics. It was about the children. They wanted to flirt and make eyes, sit and giggle, point and laugh. The boys just wanted to "be boys" and hit and kick each other to show their affection. I'm sure that tonight, many of them, as always, were bored with politics. Politics never really seems to get us anywhere, so who can blame them. Kids just want to be kids, but we won't let them. Instead we force ideas and beliefs on them without ever explaining what they mean or allowing them to feel differently. And I didn't even have to actually look and see that there were no Arabs, Israeli or Palestinian, to be found on the streets tonight. The dogs were out in all their glory; there was no room for the minority or the oppressed. I'd like to think that the Arab children were dancing and flirting, etc., etc. Not in Jerusalem they weren't; well, maybe they were in their homes with the blinds drawn. It would have been a good night to be in the West Bank, to see the other side, literally, but it just wouldn't have been safe. This issue will never be resolved until the grown ups shut their fanatical traps and let their children think for themselves. Yes, there are people who exist among the gray in regards to this issue, but it is not a pleasant place to be as they fall in the minority. I've always taken the phrase "the children are the future" with a grain of salt, mostly because it is overused and annoying. But tonight I believe that it rings true. If we want changes to be made to ensure a brighter future, then it has to start with the kids. I hope that in the circles of children scattered throughout Jerusalem tonight, a few of them ask themselves or their friends "why are we hear tonight anyway," and that maybe they will talk about it a little in between rounds of Red Rover. Oh, and if you're wondering whose side I'm on, well, I vote for humanity.

My Second 10th Birthday

On October 3rd I celebrated 10 years clean and sober. I know this is news to some people reading this. All I can say to you is the warm, caring and real person you know would not exist today if I had not gotten clean and sober back in college. 10 years is a long time, it's a significant amount of time -- a decade. I look at it that I have been clean and sober for 1/3 of my life. Holy crap! And I am only 30 years old. When I turn 40 I will have been clean and sober for half my life, and I'll hopefully have decades ahead of me. Maybe when I turn 103 and Willard Scott (he's timeless, right?) and Smuckers recognize this poor old thing on the Today show, he can also say that I have been clean and sober 83 years. Yeah, holy crap!

I had a wonderful personal celebration of my anniversary with Rachel. We had a wonderful Argentinian steak dinner, and she gave me a beautifully written card as well as a hand engraved Hadya necklace which she had engraved with the words "im ain ani li mi li" (if I am not for myself, who will be for me" and on the back "rak l'hayom" (one day at a time) with my sobriety date. I went to an AA meeting afterwards and was given a 10 year chip from another individual's personal collection, the first time that has happened to me in my 10 years. And I will pay it forward. My anniversary wasn't until the next day but in Jerusalem AA, a day is relative -- religious or secular depending on the situation.

The following day was my actual anniversary. It was also Simchat Torah. I wrote the following account of the experience in an email I sent out that night:

I sit here at 10:02pm, and I am exhausted. Exhausted yes, but invigorated even more. I'm still reeling from the hours of dancing I did at the Simchat Torah celebration I attended at Kibbutz Gezer. I didn't expect myself to dance very much. On the way there I was thinking to myself how when I first got clean and sober, so many people told me to just sit in meetings and listen, that I had far more to learn than to contribute in those early days. As much as I don't usually agree with that philosophy, I find myself using it in various parts of my life, a little too often, mostly as an excuse. I had planned on staying on the outside of the circles tonight, observing, learning. But once the klezmer band started playing, and the Torahs were embraced, and people started dancing, well, I couldn't contain myself. I ran out into the crowd and danced, and danced, and danced. I was winded and my legs felt like jello, but I danced, and danced, and danced. I danced with a smile on my face, throwing my head back in laughter at times, eagerly grabbing people's hands and shoulders so I could feel the joy of the connection I felt to others there with me. During the last go around, a large group made a big circle around the people holding the four Torahs and circle danced. The circle was avoiding a tree so I called to people to go around the tree, and apparently others were thinking the same thing. So our circle embraced the tree as well – the tree of life, my tree of life. I circle danced around my tree of life; I celebrated and honored my life as I danced. I thought about the many difficult times and the many joyous occasions I have lived with and through, the hard work I have done to become the good person I am today, the unselfish devotion I have had for myself as I, day in and day out, look to heal and embrace the future. Today I have been clean and sober for 10 years, a decade, a third of my life. Tonight I danced in celebration of a lot of things, one of them being myself, and that I am able to do that so freely is a testament to what my life has become free of drugs and alcohol. I was drenched in sweat earlier; my hair was dripping and my shirt was soaking. But it has been many, many years since I felt so clean. If you are reading this it is because you have at some point, in some way, contributed to my ability to have the strength to overcome my demons, by loving me, supporting me, encouraging me, challenging me and, quite frankly, by simply putting up with me at times. If I didn't have each of you, I wouldn't be so blessed today, and there would be little voids in my life where your spirits should have shone brightly. But I don't have to worry about that today. All I have to do is to say thank you, to myself and to each of you. I sit here at 10:37pm, and I am grateful.

But why confine celebrations to specific time frames? Rachel and I decided that we wanted to share our joy with the HUC-JIR student community. We chose to do it on a Saturday evening because we could incorporate Havdallah, and I would tell my story. Our celebration was held this past Saturday evening in the Persian Garden on the HUC campus. Amazingly, the majority of the community came -- about 50 people -- we will forever be moved and humbled by this. It was an intimate space, and there was a comforting chill in the air. The group had naturally formed a circle, and Rachel was sitting beside me (Rachel has never been sitting beside me when I have told my story in the past, and now I won't want it any other way). We began by dedicating the evening to my mom who is having some health problems. Our songleader began with a niggun and then transitioned into Mishaberach. I then proceeded to tell my story. I wanted to tailor it to my audience (no war story like they do in AA), and the easiest way was to talk around 10 points, 10 things that I am grateful for today because of my sobriety. It was pretty much dark at this point except for the moonlight -- there were no lights in the area we were sitting in. I talked with surprising ease (it being dark REALLY helped) for about 15 minutes. The crowd was rowdy in the beginning when I opened with "I've been clean and sober since October 3rd, 1997" and then thankfully responded positively to my attempts at wit and humor. When I finished I got a great big "simon tov and mazal tov" followed by the Shehecianu. Rachel then spoke briefly about Havdallah and seperation, about every day being a new day, every day having the chance to change what we don't like so as to help us live a better life. We then had a very spiritual Havdallah experience. The flame on the candle was enormous, but it was the only light, and it lit up the small space we were in so that we could all see each other again. And then, like good Jews, we ate!!! Rachel and I had made a small investment into the Marzipan business Thursday night, and everyone happily feasted on lots of cakes and sweets. I was overwhelmed by the many hugs given to me and the amazing, kind words people shared with me. It appears to have been an intimate and meaningful experience for everyone in attendance. It was a small moment in time that Rachel and I will never forget.

I Feel Like I've Been Waiting For It My Entire Life...

...the first Jerusalem rain of the season. I was working at Crossroads (more on that later) all evening, and at around 7pm I started hearing loud thunder and seeing bright flashes of lightening. And then the rains came. I was so incredibly excited that I bounded down 2 flights of stairs and went outside and just stood in the rain. I called Rachel who was with some classmates having coffee and she too was ecstatic. On day 70 of being in Jerusalem I posted a blog about how sick I was of the bright, sunny and blue skied days. Well, 51 days later, I can happily say that the rainy season has arrived. It was very cloudy and dreary all day, so I'm not surprised that it ended up raining. I kept saying to people "Do you know how happy this makes me?!?!?" Rain is a regular part of the areas I have lived in the States, so it feels ever so familiar to stand outside in Jerusalem and get wet from falling rain. When I walked home from Crossroads it was still raining, and people were dressed as if it were a snowstorm which made me laugh. Fleece jackets, scarves, hats. I was ecstatic to be walking around town in a t-shirt and jeans and not be sweating for a change! But the happiness of a week or so ago of praying for rain and "miraculously" getting it was quickly dampened as my feet almost went out from under me and I almost busted my butt 3 times as I walked home. That damn Jerusalem stone is so slick when it is wet. So here's to the beginning of a season filled with people wiping out and getting large, strange looking bruises on their backsides.