We're Gettin' Married...Again!

On April 3, 2005, Rachel and I were married in an amazingly spiritual and intimate ceremony before the eyes of God and an indescribably meaningful community of family and friends. But we were not married in the eyes of the government, and that fact has left a little aching void in our common heart ever since. As luck, and the tremendous insight and humanity of the California Supreme Court, would have it, just a few hours ago the California Supreme Court overturned the ban on gay marriage. Within about 30 days, gay couples residing in California will be granted a basic human right, that being the right for gay couples to hold equal legal status and rights as straight couples hold. There will be a ballot referendum in November, so ultimately the voters will decide our fate, but this is something by which to be overjoyed and inspired. Rachel and I will be arriving in California the first week of August to start over, again, and build our new life and home together. As soon as we are settled in a bit, we will walk hand in hand up the stairs of the courthouse -- and we will obtain a civil marriage. By then we will have been together for 13 years, and we will be given the great honor and privilege to once again say to each other "I do." We will have an incredibly important piece of paper to display beside our ketubah, and the world will indeed be a beautiful place. Stay tuned for party details....

I Wonder Who Laura Bush's Decoy Is?

So, W has graced Jerusalem with his presence once again. It is mayhem. We unfortunately live less than a 5 minute walk from the King David Hotel where W and Laura are staying, and one block from the Inbal Hotel where a high security conference is being held. I haven't gone out today, yet, and have no idea what kind of problems I am going to have walking to city center where I work. There are barricades everywhere -- along with police, military police and military. The area is currently blocked off to civilian traffic. I was rudely awakened today to a police officer screaming something over and over into a megaphone. The only thing I understood was "Jabotinsky" which is the street we live on, so whatever it is he was saying, it affects us.

I just saw his motorcade go up Jabotinsky, having a nice view out our front windows. It was pretty standard fare for a motorcade with a few exceptions. There were 2 decoy limos, not just one as is typical in America, or at least in my experience in Washington, DC. And there were lots of men with lots of big guns. Lots. I was watching from the side of the street where I could see Laura in the limo. But which one was really Laura? All 3 limos had someone sitting in the same exact way with the exact same outfit on. And guess what Laura is wearing today? Something that looked to me like leopard print. I have to give kudos to Laura for her outfit choice today. If you've spent any time in Israel, you know that loud and gaudy clothes, such as leopard print, is quite popular among secular Israeli women (insert Russian joke). So at least the poor woman who has to be Laura's decoy felt right at home in today's outfit. I'm quite impressed with Laura's apparent cultural sensitivity.

Israeli security has apparently been practicing motorcades for a few days now. I took a video the night before last of one such motorcade. It didn't go so well. Traffic was jammed on both sides of Jabotinsky, and the vehicles in the motorcade were actually honking at other cars to let them by. How Israeli....

I'm hoping to get some photos later today and tomorrow. Maybe I can get a video of W's motorcade too. I feel quite indifferent about this whole thing. You might be asking -- okay, probably not, but I want to say it anyway, did Amy salute when W passed by? If you know me at all, you're asking yourself right now, just what "salute" would Amy have given.

Yom HaZikaron

For those who don't know, Yom HaZikaron is an Israeli national holiday -- a memorial day -- for Israeli fallen soldiers and victims of terrorism. There are ceremonies and memorials all over the country, as well as educational programs and school activities. It is custom to wear blue pants and white shirts, and I did see a lot of that today. On the eve of the holiday, a siren sounds throughout all of Israel at 8pm for about one minute. On the day of the holiday, another siren sounds throughout the country at 11am for about two minutes. This is the same siren that sounds at 10am on the day of Yom HaShoah -- Holocaust Remembrance Day. The siren is the "all clear" siren that sounds once air raids stop during times of war. It is an unbelievably powerful experience to stop whatever it is you are doing and stand in silence as the siren sounds. Politics aside, the day is about remembering and honoring the dead, and it is important. I can't help but wonder why this isn't something America finds important. How many soldiers have died in Iraq alone? What about 9/11? The sound of the siren and a common experience for a society speaks volumes that no politician or grieving parent can say. Below is a link for two videos -- they are on the top of that page. The first was taken during the 8pm siren. I was standing on Rechov Keren Hayesod in Jerusalem. Notice how folks stop and stand where they are walking on the sidewalks, how people came out of the hotel across the street to stand in front, how the bus stops and everyone on it stands up and how people put their car into park, get out and stand. The second video was taken during the 11am siren. I was standing on Rechov HaPalmach in Jerusalem. The siren is much louder in that part of the city, so you can really hear what it sounds like. People do the same things I mentioned above. One thing you may notice is that during the two minutes, two different taxis drive up the street. My immediate thoughts on that were that A) it is an example of democracy at its best or B) it is arguably, but highly likely, that the drivers were Arab. I asked A LOT of people this question and found out that, understandably so, Arabs might choose not to take part in this extremely significant act of Israeli patriotism. I found the whole day to be quite moving and thought you might enjoy viewing these videos. What is possibly most striking is that, particularly in the second video, you can really see how time stops for two minutes, but then life keeps right on moving. The way it should be I guess. I write this at 3am, having just come home from an awesome, awesome night out, as tonight was Erev Yom HaMatzaut -- Israeli Independence Day. I have a camera full of videos and photos that I will post in the next day or two. If you've been dying to see some footage of the masses partaking in a little Israeli dancing, then you're about to be in luck. Tomorrow is a holiday, and like most Israelis, Rachel and I will be hanging out in a park with friends, grilling and smoking nargila (hookah). What a life. Can't wait!

http://www.dropshots.com/marah

Normalcy

I just want to quickly touch base with all of our blog friends. First, thank you to everyone who has emailed us to check on our physical and mental health and safety. It was greatly appreciated and very moving to know that we are in so many people's thoughts and prayers. Rachel and I both went to bed feeling sad and unsettled Thursday night. It was shocking that the shooting happened here in Jerusalem, in our little safe space, and it was saddening to think that the next day, 8 children would be buried decades before their time amongst the sobs and cries of family, friends and anonymous faces writhing in pain. And knowing that just a few hours later, as it does every week, the siren would sound letting all of Jerusalem know that Shabbat had begun, and the air would fill with the hums of prayer and song as the religious, and secular, masses would begin to grapple with the difficult question of why. I went out Friday afternoon to meet someone and was somewhat surprised by how normal it felt. It was a few hours before Shabbat, and people were bustling around the city as they always do. It felt good. Rachel and I had a wonderful Shabbat with her parents and the friends who hosted us for dinner and lunch. The shooting was barely mentioned by anyone. Of course, everyone was sad and angry about what happened, but we are in Jerusalem, Israel, and this is life here. Indeed, the show must go on. Each day is a new day here, and a week is truly a long time. Tonight we walked around Ben Yehuda and the City Center once Shabbat ended, and there were throngs of people out like always, probably more, though, than the last few months because we got a little taste of summer these last days and it is in the 80s right now. There were religious families, secular families, kids of all varieties, tour groups, Birthright groups, street performers, etc. It was refreshing and invigorating to see so many people out and about who are not going to sit at home afraid of what could happen. It felt like home. And who can complain about that. It is indeed the start to a very good week. Shavua tov.

We Are Okay...

...but sadly others aren't.

As the news has probably already broken in America, we want to let everyone know that we, and as far as we know, our friends and loved ones in Jerusalem, are okay. There was a shooting at a boys yeshiva in a religious neighborhood in Jerusalem. So far reports are that anywhere from 7-9 are dead and 30-something are injured. It is unclear if the terrorist gunmen are dead or alive or if they are captured or at large. There are many conflicting stories on the various news sources. We won't know exact details until tomorrow, at the earliest I imagine. We definitely feel shaken up and incredibly sad by what happened, and our thoughts and prayers go out to those who are suffering and our hopes remain that peace will prevail and that, like our blog theme says, there will be shalom in and from Jerusalem. We will be in touch again soon. Be well.

Well...It Did

So I started to write this last night, but the power kept going out, as it had been doing the night before last. It was a lot of fun for it to snow in Jerusalem, but I really hope that's it for the season. And I'm a huge lover of winter and snow storms. Starting Tuesday afternoon it was incredibly windy and remained so until Thursday afternoon. And this wind was bitter, and it literally got into my bones. Couple that with precipitation that sporadically changed from rain to freezing rain to sleet to slush to ice to hail to snow and backwards and forwards and somewhere in between and you have a big, nasty mess. If we could have a calm, peaceful snow that falls overnight giving way to a beautiful and windless day, then by all means bring it on. But from what I can tell that is not how it happens here in Jerusalem. Overall, most people are saying that we got about 4 inches of snow. I had good intentions about getting up early Wednesday morning to go walk around and take pictures, but the wind was fierce and blowing around all of the mixed precipitation that I mentioned above, and I just didn't feel like braving it. I expected it to let up, which it didn't do, so I finally got bundled up and walked to the windmill park to take some photos. Afterwards I had to walk to a meeting I had scheduled with someone. I arrived quite wet from all of the slush on the ground and in the sky. When I left I walked down the hill to a main road to catch a cab home, and no sooner did I blink when a car drove by and gave me a full body splash from a giant puddle. I was soaked and freezing to the core and had to wait another 10 minutes until a cab would stop. I have found that trying to catch a cab in Jerusalem when it is rainy or snowy is about as easy as it is to do the same in New York City, i.e. nearly impossible. The snow et al continued through Wednesday night and Thursday morning. I left the house early Thursday afternoon to go to the shuk and got to take some more photos, and I happily stayed much drier than I had the day before. Families, kids, couples, singles...pretty much everyone was out at some point enjoying this rare occurrence. I was asked to take pictures for other people -- I wasn't sharp enough to count to 3 in Hebrew, so a big loud "smile!" was my cue that I was about to take the picture. A few things that I'm not used to seeing: 1) a snowman standing next to a palm tree and 2) people removing snow from sidewalks by hosing down the snow and using a large squeegee to push the slush away (everyone in Israel has tile floors and cleans them with squeegees). Today was sunny and warmer, yet some snow has continued to stick around. Jerusalem is nothing but hills and valleys, so some areas never really feel the kiss of the sun. And the extended outlook: the low 60s the beginning of next week. I used to be a cold weather person, but living in a country with stone and tile everything and in an apartment with no central heat has made me quite the complainer, so a dose of the 60s sounds wonderful. Maybe Los Angeles weather won't be such a bad thing after all.

http://www.dropshots.com/Marah# Look for January 30 and January 31 for pictures of the snow. I'm pretty sure I've put other pictures up on the site but haven't told you about it, such as my photos of Christmas Eve in the Old City of Jerusalem and Bethlehem -- I still need to blog about that. I plan to do some upkeep in the near future and will let you know when there's new stuff to look at.

Shabbat shalom from J'lem!

Will It Or Won't It?

Well, the wind is howling and the trees are swaying. The palm trees just don't know what to think, especially the tall skinny palm tree outside our living room window. We live on the 5th floor, and the actual palms are at a 6th or 7th floor height. This tree freaks me out on an average windy day, but everyone says that they are made to sway. The city high on the hills of Israel -- Jerusalem -- is preparing for a winter storm. But "winter storm" in Jerusalem doesn't mean much, at least compared to a lot of you readers back in the states who have been shoveling out your cars and sending your kids zipping down hills on sleds for the past 2 months. If it snows 2 inches in Jerusalem, the city will shut down for a day. There are only a few snow plows, and cars and drivers are not made to do well in the snow. They aren't made to do well on a clear and sunny day, either, trust me. There has been a buzz in the air for days now about the possibility of snow. If it snows at all, it usually only snows one time a year, so this could be it. I've been told by so many that Jerusalem is gorgeous when it snows. I believe it and can only imagine the picturesque views everywhere you turn -- the walls of the Old City and the Dome of the Rock crowned with snow. There appears to be a universal code for weather forecasters around the world, i.e. you can't trust them because they really just don't know what they are talking about and are often wrong in their forecasts. As I sit here and listen to the howls and whistles of the wind, I don't blame them for their inaccuracy, as Mother Nature is truly a force to be reckoned with, global warming or not. People are already canceling or rescheduling activities and appointments; Hebrew Union College sent out an email about what happens when it snows here and how it could affect the start of the new semester, which is tomorrow. I've even caught the bug and emailed someone to reschedule this evening's meeting. I laugh at myself over that one, but hey, when in Rome.... Will it snow tonight, or tomorrow, or tomorrow night, or Thursday...or not at all? That's how unpredictable it is. But it's kind of fun to be caught up in the buzz of it all, regardless. When Rachel wakes up early tomorrow morning to get ready for school, she'll tell me if there is snow or not. If not, then more sleep will be in order. But if there is snow, I'm throwing on some boots and warm clothes, grabbing my camera and heading out into the wild white yonder to capture some of the beauty that everyone talks about. Seeing snow in Jerusalem will most likely be a once in a lifetime opportunity for us, unless of course it snows again before the winter is over, which would once again prove the "weather rebbe" wrong and Mother Nature right, as it should be.

http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/805786.html

This is a link to an article I just found online after googling "will it snow in jerusalem?" See what I mean about Israeli drivers? Oh, and an "extreme cold front" here in Jerusalem means near freezing at night and around 40 degrees during the day. And one last thing -- Rachel learned today that when snow is predicted, Israelis from Tel Aviv and other warmer, coastal cities will book hotel rooms in Jerusalem so that their kids can play in the snow. For the sake of them, if no one else, I hope it snows. To be continued....

Bush Is Gone, And This Is What We Have Left

There are still lots of posters like these around town. The "Even Bush...." was recycled -- it was originally the same image with "Even Annapolis Can't Save You" around the time of the peace summit in Annapolis. Another great poster that I didn't get a photo of showed a large bible with "Holy Bible" and a large cross on it and it read "Read Your Bible Bush -- God Gave Israel to the Jews." Gotta love propaganda.

An Update, Since It's Been A While

Well, it's amazing how quickly the days of lack of communication can add up. It's been a while. Sort of like a diet or a new hobby, taking a few days off of blogging can quickly turn into weeks. But I don't believe in starting over, just in picking up where I left off and recommitting. So, here goes.

I have been sick many of these last few weeks, which does give me somewhat of a good excuse for not blogging. First a stomach flu, and now bronchitis. I feel like I have been sick far more days than not since arriving in Israel. I've been told that it is actually quite normal, and that many people who move to Israel are sick a lot the first year. Too bad I'm only here a year, then. Hopefully the adjustment and first year back in the States won't be a similar experience. The good thing is my time here is my time, and if I need to rest and do nothing I have that luxury. I've been trying real hard not to get Rachel sick, as she has been in the throws of final exams and will be heading to the States in a few days to see her family and attend a Wexner conference. Okay, I'll take that as a good transition.

Rachel has finished final exams as of today and has completed 1/10 of her rabbinic education. She has assigned the 5 letters in the word "RABBI" to her 5 years of school. Since she is now half way through her first year she has earned the status of "r." And trust me folks, she has earned it. Rachel worked really, really hard this semester and has achieved a lot. It was a huge change to go from full time work doing something she loved and was great at to being a full time student and not knowing too much about it all before starting. I'm extremely proud of her. She is going to do amazing things in her career and will impact people's lives and communities in stellar ways.

I just realized that with Rachel being finished with 1/10 of her graduate education, I too am 1/10 finished with my rebetsin-in-training education. How am I doing you might ask? Well, I stopped making Rachel's lunch about a month or two after starting, I have resorted to spot cleaning and refuse to mop the floors (they're just going to get dirty again), there is a weekly standoff over who will do the dishes (we don't have a dishwasher) and I slack when it comes to cooking dinner. But I can redeem myself. I do all of the laundry, keep the toilet in tip top shape for us and guests, go to the shuk and grocery store, run other errands (I'm looking around the apartment right now trying to think of other things to tell you) and, um, other things as needed. But chores and errands won't be what this rebetsin is about. I try really hard to be an active member in Rachel's community, to support her and her colleagues in their ambitions, celebrate Shabbat and holidays with everyone, share parts of my personal life with her community to raise awareness of important issues and to connect spouses and families with these future rabbis, cantors and educators. Rachel may have to run out for lunch more often than she'd like in the future, and we may find ourselves saying "gosh the floors got dirty today when the kids were playing" far too many times when we welcome guests into our home, but I will always be there in body, mind and spirit when she and her congregants and community need me. That, my friends, is a promise.

So when I'm not sick and miserable or playing rebetsin, I spend a lot of time at Crossroads Center as a volunteer social worker and librarian. I help run the Moadon on Wednesday nights, which is 4 hours when the TV is off and the kids can only do email on the computers (no youtube or other videos). So they are at a loss, and we help engage them, usually in card games, conversation, music, art and cooking. I also am working on creating a library for the center. They used to have one, and they have tons of great books. I have been working with some great kids to sort through all of the books, categorize them and enter them on a spreadsheet and then label them and put them on the shelves. It's a slow and tedious project that would sometimes go a lot faster if the kids weren't helping, but that's not what it's about, and as the shelves start to fill up we are all able to take pride in this project. A lot of the kids do love to read. I hope to start a book group and get at least one book read before I leave Jerusalem. If I can have a well ordered and user friendly library system in place for Crossroads before I leave I will be very, very happy, and so will they. Once the library is organized, I will have library hours 2 or 3 times a week, which is basically just an excuse to create another opportunity for the Center to engage the kids in meaningful conversation. The Crossroads Center http://crossroadsjerusalem.org/ is a truly amazing place with educated, talented and experienced staff, and the Executive Director has done remarkable things with it. If you're ever looking for a worthy place to make a tax deductible donation, please consider Crossroads. It's very gratifying work for me. The kids are great and are full of potential. I have made some very meaningful relationships and with my mamosh way of connecting with the kids I have made a real difference (this was told to me by a social worker -- nice to know I have a purpose there).

I have created many healing opportunities for myself here in Jerusalem which keep me busy in a really good way. I try to find the time and inspiration to paint, and I'm in the very early stages of teaching myself to play guitar, a dream I've had for many years. I do a great deal of walking but always forget that I usually have my camera with me. I need to take a lot more pictures and videos before I leave. We have reached the point where we need to start doing all of the things we have said "we'll do that before we leave" about, as time is surprisingly ticking away rather quickly. I'm trying to locate firewood right now for our great little wood burning stove, and I have enlisted the help and interest of others in making a pulley system so that we can pull bags up from the ground instead of schlepping them up 5 flights which can be very difficult at times. Whoever rents this apartment after us would greatly benefit from this.

"Visiting hours" have begun for us. We got to spend time with a friend from Washington, DC a few weeks ago, and Rachel's cousin is in the country right now on a Birthright trip. In less than a month my Mom and her best friend will be here followed by Rachel's parents and then my sister and hopefully my Dad. Other friends are considering making the trip, so we have a lot of company headed our way which is exciting. Rachel and I plan to go to Turkey with my mom and her friend while they are here and hopefully to Petra with Rachel's parents. We wanted to go to Cairo towards the end of Rachel's break but it is too expensive, so we may just end up staying in a posh cabin in the Galilee at some point which is fine by me. We are headed to St. Petersburg, Russia for Pesach to help lead sedars in progressive communities that do not have a rabbi. We've heard it's an amazing city and are very excited about this opportunity.

We've had no choice but to start talking about what we are doing when we leave Israel. We have a few weeks between leaving Israel and arriving in Washington, DC that will be busily spent in Cincinnati, Barboursville and Athens, trying to see family and friends and prepare for the move to LA before we go to WDC for 6 weeks where Rachel will be running the Machon Kaplan program for the Religious Action Center, a social justice and politics program for Jewish college students from around the country. I have no plans other than to spend lots of time with the people that I love, so if you have any part-time job ideas for me, please pass them along. At some point during those 6 weeks we will head out to LA for a quick trip to try and hopefully buy a condo or small home or rent an apartment if the buying thing doesn't happen. When we are finished in WDC we will have to start making our way west pretty quickly so that we have time to get settled before Rachel begins school. We're thinking about buying one of our cars at least (we'll need 2, gulp, in LA as we did in DC) and towing it behind a U-Haul, making the cross country trip we've always wanted to make. Once we're settled we'll have someone fly out with the cats, and our family will finally be reunited. I have decided not to start graduate school in the fall. I was planning to get my MSW from USC but have decided that it is not right for me at this time and very well may never be. I have a huge interest in becoming an acupuncturist rather than a social work therapist, and I will explore that option once I am in LA. Regardless of what I end up deciding and doing, I do not want to commit to any schools right away and simply want to get out west, hopefully find a really cool and interesting and better paying job and just work, which is something I really do enjoy, much more so than being a student. A steady income will help our future plans become more of a reality.

Well folks, I think I've updated you on a lot and can't really think of much more to say right now except that starting today, for 3 full days, Israel will be a good 50% dumber than its normal decent intellect due to the mere fact that W has come for a visit. Sure wish we had Comedy Central. And on that note, consider this a new commitment to the blog, so you'll hopefully hear from me again sooner rather than later. I have yet to tell you all about my Christmas in Israel experience where I on the spur of the moment walked with a group of German Lutheran pilgrims from a church in the Old City of Jerusalem to Manger Square and the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem on Christmas Eve. It was an interesting and powerful experience, one that I have yet to be able to articulate, thus my not sharing it with you yet. I'm working on it, though, so stay tuned.

A happy, healthy and joyous New Year to you all.

The FSU Project

We are very excited to tell you about a project we are participating in, and we need your support. This coming April, over 40 student of HUC-JIR will be traveling abroad to help lead Passover sedars in the Former Soviet Union. The delegation will be traveling to more than twenty communities throughout Russia, Ukraine and Belarus in order to lead seders and conduct educational programming for these under served communities. There are only 6 progressive Rabbi's in the whole FSU who are expected to serve over 100 progressive communities in the region.

In order to prepare for this trip, students are required to fundraise. The trip costs on average $2,000 per student, so we need to raise $4,000 (we are both going), and this money goes toward plane tickets, visas, hotels, and supplies for the seders as well as donations to each community, which will enable them to continue observing Passover in the years to come.

Please consider supporting this project. Tax-deductible donations can be made online at http://www.pesachproject.com/. PLEASE DESIGNATE "FSU PESACH PROJECT" IN THE DROP DOWN MENU.

Additionally, contributions may be sent by mail to:
HUC-JIR
Attn: Diane Bongard
3101 Clifton Avenue
Cincinnati, OH 45220

Thanks,

Amy and Rachel

20 years ago, unbeknownst to me, my father went on a trip to the Soviet Union to work with "refuseniks" (Soviet Jews who were denied permission to emigrate abroad). Not until we picked him up from the airport at the conclusion of his trip did I learn about his true mission. I know this was a transformative experience for my father and something that I thought about a lot as a child, which is why I am thrilled to be able to visit these communities, 20 years later, and learn with them by helping them experience a Passover sedar. The transformation is amazing and it is critical to continue to support their ongoing development. ~Rachel Joseph Marah

You can check out our website at: http://info@pesachproject.com/.

Announcements

The following announcement was sent via email to HUC students:

Israelphone – After this has happened to a few students, I found out that Cellcom (the company that Israelphone is connected to) turns phones off if they see outgoing calls to the West Bank, Aza or Arab countries. They assume that the phone is lost or stolen. They are supposed to call and check before they shut it off but apparently this hasn't been the case. If you have friends or family that you are calling in these areas, let me know and it will be noted by the company. Otherwise, avoid calling from your cellphone. This is a Cellcom policy not Israelphone.

So all HUC students and their families have to rent cell phones from Israelphone for the entire year. Who would have thought that politics could affect a cell phone company in this manner. After last night's blog entry I found this to be highly appropriate. God forbid a Jew and/or Israeli have a friend on the other side. If someone is to call the West Bank, Gaza or an Arab country, it's not something that is done in peace and innocence; rather, it is because some Arab hoodlum steals an innocent Jews cell phone and makes calls to their Arab place of residence to plan the next bombing. Yeah yeah, I know -- a little extreme. But you get the point.

So, About That "Annapolis" Thing

I hope you aren't expecting some eloquent statement on how the Middle East conflict can be resolved. I am in kindergarten when it comes to this subject. The night is young in Jerusalem. As I look out our front apartment window, I see bumper to bumper traffic coming up and down Jabotinsky, a major street in Jerusalem. The President lives at the top of the hill, and I imagine there are several check points up that way. A stark contrast to the quiet, car free street I wrote about on Yom Kippur. I was working at Crossroads this afternoon, leaving there about a quarter after 6. When I walked out to Yaffo Street, I was slightly surprised by the amounts of people out and about. I walked up Ben Yehuda to King George, and the throngs of people increased. By the end of tonight I can't even imagine the number of falafel balls that will have been consumed by the hungry masses. I started walking on King George towards my apartment, a good little jaunt, and I quickly became disturbed. Who made up the masses in Jerusalem tonight? Who was out on the streets rallying for Israel? Kids, well, children really. All of the seminaries (girls) and yeshivas (boys) from Jerusalem and surrounding cities and suburbs dropped their children off to represent the supposed multitudes. Mind you many of them seemed to be of Anglo origin. The children were sent to dance and sing and make noise for Israel. I saw an awful lot of groups of boys and girls just sitting around, watching each other, more interested in doing kid things like playing Red Rover, Red Rover with their eyes, as they are not allowed to actually touch each other. Those that danced, danced with excitement, but I have a feeling they were dancing more for fun than because of some deep political belief they are told to hold by their parents and Rabbis. To me they looked like dancing pawns in an intellectually challenging game of political chess. I fear what the check mate might bring. I had no choice but to plow through the masses that were gathered in the thousands on King George in front of the stage full of Israeli flags and singing Black Hats. I couldn't understand the lyrics, nor could I read the signs. I was too busy using my broad shoulders and wide hips to snake a path through the insanity. There is so much misunderstanding, between Jews even, not to mention including the Arabs in that dichotomy. There were groups of secular Israeli children dancing, being laughed at by the religious Israeli children who didn't understand that the secular kids were making fun of them. The chaos that is Jerusalem tonight to me and my limited experience had nothing to do with politics. It was about the children. They wanted to flirt and make eyes, sit and giggle, point and laugh. The boys just wanted to "be boys" and hit and kick each other to show their affection. I'm sure that tonight, many of them, as always, were bored with politics. Politics never really seems to get us anywhere, so who can blame them. Kids just want to be kids, but we won't let them. Instead we force ideas and beliefs on them without ever explaining what they mean or allowing them to feel differently. And I didn't even have to actually look and see that there were no Arabs, Israeli or Palestinian, to be found on the streets tonight. The dogs were out in all their glory; there was no room for the minority or the oppressed. I'd like to think that the Arab children were dancing and flirting, etc., etc. Not in Jerusalem they weren't; well, maybe they were in their homes with the blinds drawn. It would have been a good night to be in the West Bank, to see the other side, literally, but it just wouldn't have been safe. This issue will never be resolved until the grown ups shut their fanatical traps and let their children think for themselves. Yes, there are people who exist among the gray in regards to this issue, but it is not a pleasant place to be as they fall in the minority. I've always taken the phrase "the children are the future" with a grain of salt, mostly because it is overused and annoying. But tonight I believe that it rings true. If we want changes to be made to ensure a brighter future, then it has to start with the kids. I hope that in the circles of children scattered throughout Jerusalem tonight, a few of them ask themselves or their friends "why are we hear tonight anyway," and that maybe they will talk about it a little in between rounds of Red Rover. Oh, and if you're wondering whose side I'm on, well, I vote for humanity.

My Second 10th Birthday

On October 3rd I celebrated 10 years clean and sober. I know this is news to some people reading this. All I can say to you is the warm, caring and real person you know would not exist today if I had not gotten clean and sober back in college. 10 years is a long time, it's a significant amount of time -- a decade. I look at it that I have been clean and sober for 1/3 of my life. Holy crap! And I am only 30 years old. When I turn 40 I will have been clean and sober for half my life, and I'll hopefully have decades ahead of me. Maybe when I turn 103 and Willard Scott (he's timeless, right?) and Smuckers recognize this poor old thing on the Today show, he can also say that I have been clean and sober 83 years. Yeah, holy crap!

I had a wonderful personal celebration of my anniversary with Rachel. We had a wonderful Argentinian steak dinner, and she gave me a beautifully written card as well as a hand engraved Hadya necklace which she had engraved with the words "im ain ani li mi li" (if I am not for myself, who will be for me" and on the back "rak l'hayom" (one day at a time) with my sobriety date. I went to an AA meeting afterwards and was given a 10 year chip from another individual's personal collection, the first time that has happened to me in my 10 years. And I will pay it forward. My anniversary wasn't until the next day but in Jerusalem AA, a day is relative -- religious or secular depending on the situation.

The following day was my actual anniversary. It was also Simchat Torah. I wrote the following account of the experience in an email I sent out that night:

I sit here at 10:02pm, and I am exhausted. Exhausted yes, but invigorated even more. I'm still reeling from the hours of dancing I did at the Simchat Torah celebration I attended at Kibbutz Gezer. I didn't expect myself to dance very much. On the way there I was thinking to myself how when I first got clean and sober, so many people told me to just sit in meetings and listen, that I had far more to learn than to contribute in those early days. As much as I don't usually agree with that philosophy, I find myself using it in various parts of my life, a little too often, mostly as an excuse. I had planned on staying on the outside of the circles tonight, observing, learning. But once the klezmer band started playing, and the Torahs were embraced, and people started dancing, well, I couldn't contain myself. I ran out into the crowd and danced, and danced, and danced. I was winded and my legs felt like jello, but I danced, and danced, and danced. I danced with a smile on my face, throwing my head back in laughter at times, eagerly grabbing people's hands and shoulders so I could feel the joy of the connection I felt to others there with me. During the last go around, a large group made a big circle around the people holding the four Torahs and circle danced. The circle was avoiding a tree so I called to people to go around the tree, and apparently others were thinking the same thing. So our circle embraced the tree as well – the tree of life, my tree of life. I circle danced around my tree of life; I celebrated and honored my life as I danced. I thought about the many difficult times and the many joyous occasions I have lived with and through, the hard work I have done to become the good person I am today, the unselfish devotion I have had for myself as I, day in and day out, look to heal and embrace the future. Today I have been clean and sober for 10 years, a decade, a third of my life. Tonight I danced in celebration of a lot of things, one of them being myself, and that I am able to do that so freely is a testament to what my life has become free of drugs and alcohol. I was drenched in sweat earlier; my hair was dripping and my shirt was soaking. But it has been many, many years since I felt so clean. If you are reading this it is because you have at some point, in some way, contributed to my ability to have the strength to overcome my demons, by loving me, supporting me, encouraging me, challenging me and, quite frankly, by simply putting up with me at times. If I didn't have each of you, I wouldn't be so blessed today, and there would be little voids in my life where your spirits should have shone brightly. But I don't have to worry about that today. All I have to do is to say thank you, to myself and to each of you. I sit here at 10:37pm, and I am grateful.

But why confine celebrations to specific time frames? Rachel and I decided that we wanted to share our joy with the HUC-JIR student community. We chose to do it on a Saturday evening because we could incorporate Havdallah, and I would tell my story. Our celebration was held this past Saturday evening in the Persian Garden on the HUC campus. Amazingly, the majority of the community came -- about 50 people -- we will forever be moved and humbled by this. It was an intimate space, and there was a comforting chill in the air. The group had naturally formed a circle, and Rachel was sitting beside me (Rachel has never been sitting beside me when I have told my story in the past, and now I won't want it any other way). We began by dedicating the evening to my mom who is having some health problems. Our songleader began with a niggun and then transitioned into Mishaberach. I then proceeded to tell my story. I wanted to tailor it to my audience (no war story like they do in AA), and the easiest way was to talk around 10 points, 10 things that I am grateful for today because of my sobriety. It was pretty much dark at this point except for the moonlight -- there were no lights in the area we were sitting in. I talked with surprising ease (it being dark REALLY helped) for about 15 minutes. The crowd was rowdy in the beginning when I opened with "I've been clean and sober since October 3rd, 1997" and then thankfully responded positively to my attempts at wit and humor. When I finished I got a great big "simon tov and mazal tov" followed by the Shehecianu. Rachel then spoke briefly about Havdallah and seperation, about every day being a new day, every day having the chance to change what we don't like so as to help us live a better life. We then had a very spiritual Havdallah experience. The flame on the candle was enormous, but it was the only light, and it lit up the small space we were in so that we could all see each other again. And then, like good Jews, we ate!!! Rachel and I had made a small investment into the Marzipan business Thursday night, and everyone happily feasted on lots of cakes and sweets. I was overwhelmed by the many hugs given to me and the amazing, kind words people shared with me. It appears to have been an intimate and meaningful experience for everyone in attendance. It was a small moment in time that Rachel and I will never forget.

I Feel Like I've Been Waiting For It My Entire Life...

...the first Jerusalem rain of the season. I was working at Crossroads (more on that later) all evening, and at around 7pm I started hearing loud thunder and seeing bright flashes of lightening. And then the rains came. I was so incredibly excited that I bounded down 2 flights of stairs and went outside and just stood in the rain. I called Rachel who was with some classmates having coffee and she too was ecstatic. On day 70 of being in Jerusalem I posted a blog about how sick I was of the bright, sunny and blue skied days. Well, 51 days later, I can happily say that the rainy season has arrived. It was very cloudy and dreary all day, so I'm not surprised that it ended up raining. I kept saying to people "Do you know how happy this makes me?!?!?" Rain is a regular part of the areas I have lived in the States, so it feels ever so familiar to stand outside in Jerusalem and get wet from falling rain. When I walked home from Crossroads it was still raining, and people were dressed as if it were a snowstorm which made me laugh. Fleece jackets, scarves, hats. I was ecstatic to be walking around town in a t-shirt and jeans and not be sweating for a change! But the happiness of a week or so ago of praying for rain and "miraculously" getting it was quickly dampened as my feet almost went out from under me and I almost busted my butt 3 times as I walked home. That damn Jerusalem stone is so slick when it is wet. So here's to the beginning of a season filled with people wiping out and getting large, strange looking bruises on their backsides.

Hello to Freedom and New Perspectives

The first of three HUC tiyulim (trips) took us to the North to learn more about the “New Jew” – emigrants from the first and second aliyah period before the founding of the modern state of Israel (1880-1914). It was a great trip, not perfect because Amy was too sick to join us, but a much needed break from J’lem. First, a reflection on our class – while I know it’s still early in the year I think we’re a pretty amazing group of people. Not to say that everyone’s friends with each other but that’s not the goal – the goal is respect and camaraderie. The year-in-Israel experience breeds a camp environment with all the good and bad of living and breathing each other 24/7. This first tiyul was a true test of our maturity and willingness to roll with the punches and I think we passed – no need for a class meeting or group therapy. Ok, back to the actual tiyul.

We left very early Sunday morning, only a few hours after the gates closed on Yom Kippur and everyone still hung over from gorging at break-the-fast. I quickly became a proud member of bus #2 (our madrichot bought martzipan rugela to win us over) comprised of our amazing tour educator, Gadi (brother-in-law of my friend Ari Geller and son-in-law to Rabbi Gellar) and our amazing history teacher and source for all things British, Dave Mendelson. The initial drive North was sprinkled with history tidbits, Israeli factoids, international sports updates and much needed cat-naps. Our first stop was Rosh Pina, one of the first settlements from the first aliya period beginning in the early 1880s. The original moshava still exists and is absolutely beautiful! The surrounding town of Rosh Pina is known for its B&B’s, restaurants and wineries so I hope to have an opportunity to spend more time in the area. Our first stop also brought our first multi-media presentation of the trip. This will have to be a separate blog entry but I am quickly becoming a multi-media connoisseur – every single site in Israel has an accompanying presentation, I’m not exaggerating! One of my theories it that during the second intifada while tourism was lagging, Israelis had plenty of time to update every tour site. It’s really unbelievable! Ok, distracted again.

After Rosh Pina we had lunch on a tributary of the Jordan River and then went rafting. 6 people per raft and only 2 paddles; it was actually a lot of fun when we weren’t ramming into the banks of the river which were actually tree roots and prickly shrubbery (I have wounds). I did learn that cotton fields, in Israel, are irrigated with purified waste water much of which was splashed in my face during our rafting trip. Needless to say, I was more than thrilled to take a long, hot shower once we arrived at Karei Deshe – our amazing hostel on the shores of the Kinneret. The room was spacious and clean and yes, the shower was hot! I helped lead ma’ariv services that evening on the beach and it think it went well.

Day 2, we were up early and off to Tel Dan – not really a direct relation to the theme of the “New Jew” but the director of HUC’s Archeology School agreed to meet us there and explain this very significant site. Established by the Northern Israelite Tribe of Dan where they actually built their own Temple Mount outside of Jerusalem during the Second Temple period. Archeologists also found a stone with an inscription referring to David’s Kingdom and it is the only mention of King David outside of the torah. Tel Dan is also a beautiful nature preserve with waterfalls and wildlife. We took a short walk through the main area but again, it’s a place to visit in the future. Then we were off to a Golan lookout point at Har Bental which also has preserved military bunkers that we were able to walk through. It was a spectacular view of Syria and Lebanon.

Continuing the Golan experience we met a resident who’s one of the official English speaking spokespersons defending the right of the Golan settlements to exist. Of course it began with a propaganda movie and then some amazing lobbying by the spokesperson. I definitely had a DC reaction to the presentation – while I disagreed with much of the message, the delivery was great, textbook lobbying 101 and I hope this person gets paid a lot to be such an impassioned lobbyist. We then debriefed in small groups before FINALLY heading back to the hostel for a BBQ dinner and singing on the beach. We were joined by an Israeli folk band consisting of a guitar player and an accordion. Good times had by all.

Day 3, I decided to eat breakfast outside on the beach. Our days were so jam-packed that we never returned to the hostel during daylight. I soaked up every second of those 30 minutes on the water, much needed serenity. First stop on our final day was Tel Chai, the Masada of the North where the pioneers would rather die than surrender. They are memorialized throughout the North and in the towns name: Kiriyat Shmona. We then went to Metualla – Israel’s Northern most city and looked over to Lebanon. I felt perfectly safe standing on the border even though Israel is on “high alert” and I think living in DC over the past 8 years has helped me relate (on a very small level) to Israel’s security issues. You can’t hide from terrorism and violence; you must continue living your life, go out and play basketball. Then we were off to meet with a psychotherapist who deals with trauma and the effects of PTSD which is a major problem in the North. After lunch we stopped briefly at the kibbutz where Naot shoes are made. We only had 20 minutes to shop and amazingly I didn’t buy anything – too much pressure – but I tried on many pairs! Our final visit was to the Kinneret Cemetery where people related to the first and second aliyah are buried. We had mincha and watched the sunset on the Golan, I know I’m not in the US but it was truly purple mountains majesty. By this point in the day, our bus driver was more than cranky and basically paced during the entire mincha service because we were running behind schedule. Israeli bus drivers are only allowed to work 12 hours at one time. I think this is a very good law but he was threatening to not drive us back to J’lem or just leave us on the road in Jericho. Thankfully, we made it home (with only 4 minutes to spare) safe and sound.

Back in J’lem, Amy and I have been enjoying break during sukkot. We’ve explored many interesting neighborhoods and taken lots of pictures of sukkot on people’s balconies and in their yards. And yesterday we spent the day in Tel Aviv. Today, we’re off to the Old City for more exploring.

It's So Beautiful When Things Make Sense

I saw my acupuncturist today. For those of you who don't know, I acquired an e-coli type bacteria about 6 weeks ago, went on antibiotics but apparently wasn't on them long enough because the bug came back. So now I'm taking antibios for 10 days and am feeling under the weather again. Cross your fingers that it works this time. Cipro kills anthrax but can't conquer Amy's GI bugs??? Let's hope it does this time. Anyway....

Several things happened during my treatment today that just blew me away and made me even more of a believer in the power of acupuncture. First she looked at my tongue closely as she always does. It was dry and a bit yellow, indicative of GI problems. I have had a really bad headache that won't go away for about 4 days now. I told her about it and that it is in my forehead. Some of the points in the forehead are related to GI problems, thus the headache (which by the way is so much better since my treatment). Then when she took the needles out of my forehead there was the slightest bit of blood coming from those teeny tiny needles. She wasn't surprised as GI troubles should cause heat in the forehead, thus the needles acted like teeny tiny leeches in that they were drawing heat to the surface (for those who are afraid of acupuncture, I just want to say that even with blood and needles involved, it really does not hurt and is so worth it).

Okay, so I admittedly butchered the language and descriptions of acupuncture in the above paragraph. The art of eastern medicine is not easy to learn and master, so that was laywoman's language at the very most. But you get the drift. Every pulse she took and point she treated and conclusion she made, made perfect sense. How many times are we blessed in our lives to be privy to perfect sense. For me, very few, but hopefully that will continue to change throughout my life. I laid on her table, feeling sick and tired and frustrated, and between her knowledge and expertise and my body's ability to communicate with her, just for about 30 minutes, it all made sense. How beautiful is that?

Language Schmanguage

*As I sit down to write this I fully acknowledge that if I would just get my butt into ulpan these things probably wouldn't happen*

Grocery Store

I had an appointment with my acupuncturist today, in Talpiot, an area where there are far more Hebrew speakers who don't speak English than in other parts of J'lem. I have never had difficulty at the grocery store there, Super Sol Deal, but I have never had my groceries delivered to my apartment from there. I had gotten big items that I really couldn't carry on my own such as cases of soda, a big bag of laundry detergent and a big container of fabric softener. It's hard to carry more than one or two 1.5 liter bottles of soda from the grocery store and up 4 flights of stairs. I got other random food items, some of which were cold or frozen that I took with me in my own bag.

When I got to the checkout lady I said "delivery" in Hebrew -- my acupuncturist had written how to say it phonetically correct before I left for the store. I had no idea if I was supposed to put food in the delivery box myself or if someone who works there does it for me. So I started loading the cases of soda and putting the food items in the box, and then the cashier started talking a mile a minute to me in Hebrew -- it appeared she wasn't happy about something. The only thing I could understand was that she was telling me they wouldn't deliver my groceries. Now it took me asking several people when I got there if they speak English whether or not delivery is an option and if I have to spend a certain amount to qualify for delivery (like it is with another grocery store) -- I got an affirmative answer so I knew this woman was confused. We then proceeded to have a bit of a standoff --this was something neither of us wanted -- we just had no choice but to speak to each other in our native language and not understand what the other was saying. So it may have looked standoffish, but I was being as kind and polite as possible. After all, I am in a foreign country where I do not know the language, and I always feel a little guilty for not speaking Hebrew, especially in a situation like the grocery store.

Thankfully there was a very kind Israeli woman behind me in line who ended up being our translator, helped at times by other store employees who thought they spoke English but didn't really do so. So the cashier was told that I want delivery and that seemed to make her happy for a while. I was shown by our translator how to pack the delivery boxes, and meanwhile the cashier was keeping busy with paperwork. I had a few bags of food that didn't fit into the box, so the cashier's response to me was again that my food can't be delivered. My niceness was wearing thin at this point and I asked the translator to tell the cashier that I cannot take all of this food home and that I'll have to waste everyone's time refunding everything. Apparently Israeli's aren't patient, well, we knew that already, because when they asked me if I could wait a few moments until an empty delivery box turned up, I said yes, and they seemed shocked by this. I was just happy that the delivery process was continuing. When it came time to get my name, address and phone number, craziness emerged again. Translator wrote it down in Hebrew for the cashier and delivery guys, but the problem came when they asked me to explain exactly where I live. Imagine explaining the following in English to people who only speak a little English: our address is 22 Jabotinsky, but there is no entrance there; pretend that you're standing on Jabotinsky in front of 22, and notice that there is no entrance or any doors; so now imagine that you have to go to the back door, at which point you start going down M'ndele, the street that our entrance is actually on; now walk under the apartment building that is in front of you to the courtyard, where you have to look really hard for the hidden walkway to Entrance 10, our entrance, and then walk to the top floor and you will find our apartment. They always demand our address, and I always say that it is not helpful and is quite confusing, but they always demand it in the end. As I sit here and write this I am dreading when my cell phone starts ringing because the delivery guys can't find my apartment and are speaking to me in Hebrew while I speak back in English. Translator wasn't helpful at this point but only because she was trapped behind my shopping cart and couldn't engage in said conversation. Things finally seemed in order but was asked one last time for my contact information. The man said they would call if they get lost, and I smiled nicely and said I'll be waiting. I lurked for a moment while some poor man who only was buying a bottle of soda and had probably been waiting for too long checked out because I wanted to thank the translator. The cashier was looking nervously at me out of the corner of her eyes, but all I wanted to do was thank the translator and apologize for keeping her held up. She was very nice in return.

Taxi Cab

I wish I had brought translator with me on the cab ride home. I took a cab out to Talpiot earlier for my appointment and the cab driver suggested 20 shekel as a fair price. Seeing as how I was totally and knowingly, but in too much of a hurry to care, ripped off the day before when I paid 20 shekel to go half as far, I happily agreed and all was good. When I left the grocery store, there was a cab right there and the driver told me he could give me a ride. I hopped in, he started driving, he suggested 35 shekel and I said nope, that I had paid 20 earlier, he said 30, I said nope, that I had paid 20 earlier, and he stopped the cab and told me to get out. Fine. I was really growing frustrated at this point. I decided that because the area I was in, right around the Hadar Mall, is always so congested with cars and people that I would walk a ways up Pierre Koenig until things thinned out and grab a cab then. I did just that and got a cab right away. I got in and he immediately turned on the meter (this was good), and he asked me where I'm going. When I said 22 Jabotinsky he said that he doesn't speak any English, what is it in Hebrew. Um, Jabotinsky is how it is said regardless of the language -- it's just spelled a lot different. He asks me to write it down, so I did, "22 Jabotinsky," and showed him and he again said in Hebrew. I just kept saying Jabotinsky, confused as to how he doesn't understand my saying the word and by he not knowing a major street in J'lem and be a cab driver. He called a friend on his cell phone, said something and handed it to me. I assumed his friend spoke English -- wouldn't you? I said hello and he asked where I'm going, I said Jabotinsky, he says he doesn't speak English. Tell me why the cab driver would call someone to talk to me who doesn't speak English. At this point we are getting closer to the major intersection and he calls another friend who again was no help at all. Out of desperation I started saying major street names that are near where I live, and he recognizes those of course, but not mine, and then proceeds to drive up one of them. Only then does he say he knows Jabotinsky which is of course now very difficult to get to. I immediately told him I would only pay him 20 shekel as I looked at the meter that was almost to 20. He starts getting really angry and muttering under his breath about money, money, money, as though he doesn't care about it himself. We drove towards and ended up near Ben Yehuda, a good 15-20 minute walk from my apartment before circling around and coming back down. He was so angry and at this point I was right there with him. He is yelling at me and asking how I don't know Hebrew. I responded that if you are a cab driver in J'lem you should know basic English and how the heck do you not know Jabotinsky!!! He was driving far too fast for this particular street, and I told him to turn on the street that is parallel to mine, I was just going to get out and walk the rest of the way. He went around a little park and then got on the wrong street which caused me to yell a little. He then went off in Hebrew, I said to him that I don't understand him but God does, and demanded he stop the car which he did at a screeching halt. I threw my money at him, said "todah robah expletive expletive (thanks a lot expletive expletive)" and got out of the car and slammed the door as hard as I could. He literally peeled out and what I found hilarous was that by driving straight for about a block he would run into Jabotinsky. I had to walk about 5 minutes and was so angry that even with my being sick and tired I made it up our 4 flights super easy.

4 guys literally just got here with my groceries 5 minutes ago as I write this. I was surprised that I never got a call, so I asked the guy who I knew spoke some English from the store if he had any problems and he said yes. Big surprise. I asked what was confusing and he said that it was because our entrance is not on Jabotinsky and instead off a side street. Didn't I try to tell him that at the store? And he of course acted like it was my fault. Ugh...Israelis.

Is there a moral to this long story? Of course! Amy needs to learn some Hebrew. Or, better yet, Amy needs to find "the translator" and hire her for 10 hours a week. That's plenty of time to get all of my errands done :)

Kaparot

So someone came across my post about Kaparot and gave me the link to his post about Kaparot which is very, very, very different from mine. I'm posting the link below.

PLEASE KNOW THAT THE PHOTOS INCLUDED IN HIS POST ARE VERY, VERY, VERY DISTURBING. This isn't just sensitive ole Amy talking -- I looked at them quickly and was truly appalled. It's not going to make you vomit but it will almost certainly make you shudder and question the ways of the ultra-religious. The writing on the blog is interesting too. Viewing the photos might help you see that in yesterday's blog post I wasn't speaking from pure irrational emotion -- it really is a pointless and disgusting religious practice. Plus, it truly gives you a very good idea of what happens during Kaparot if that is something you want to know. AGAIN, THE CONTENTS OF THE LINK BELOW ARE HIGHLY DISTURBING.

http://niralon.wordpress.com/2007/09/18/send-the-sinful-chicken-to-hell-take-ii/

Desperately Trying For A Creative Title But Coming Up Empty

Hopefully the Cipro isn't depleting important brain matter....

I did not make it out of the apartment today, just didn't feel well enough. It was interesting to be here with all of the windows open all day and hearing all of the sounds of the people strolling up and down Jabotinsky rather than the loud cars I am used to. I periodically went to the window to look out -- in broad day light it was not quite as interesting as what I wrote in the blog post about last night.

I kept myself busy today praying, not something I really planned on doing, it just happened and I'm glad I did. First I did a little Shabbat specific praying by going through the Shabbat service Rachel and I created for the Shabbat service we hosted the weekend of my conversion. I hadn't looked through that in quite some time -- I was looking in my original tallis bag and found it -- and it really felt good to become familiar with it again. I actually found myself thinking that right now in my life I don't feel the need to become Bat Mitzvah, that in many ways my conversion experience and the before mentioned service was kind of like a Bat Mitzvah -- I was called to the Torah in that I gave a D'var Torah on that week's portion and brought together many family and friends to pray with Rachel and I and to celebrate my becoming Jewish. Who knows what time will bring, and I'll go with the flow. I then read the entirety of the morning, afternoon, memorial and concluding services since I was missing all of it. I know that a big part of prayer is that it is something done within a larger community, but I kind of liked being alone today -- I felt better able to really read, understand and reflect on the liturgy. Turns out I'm glad I read the prayerbook cover to cover as Rachel reminded me that the URJ is releasing a new prayerbook next year. I had post-it notes with me and marked some places where the liturgy really struck me or where I had questions and wanted to ask Rachel for some insight when she got home -- what can I say, I keep her on her toes.

I was still praying when sunset came and went. At 5:57pm I heard the first car drive past me on Jabotinsky. At 6:07pm I heard a second car. Then at 6:13pm a third car went by and the floodgates were opened. Within 20 minutes it sounded like just another day in Jerusalem -- car after car, scooter after scooter went by, and just like it was 24 hours ago, the horns they were a' blowin'. The unique and special experience I witnessed, the quiet and calm, the innocence and quiet of Yom Kippur disappeared quickly and it became just another night on the streets of J'lem -- loud and annoying. I quickly got up and shut the windows, trying to hold on to that peaceful quiet a little longer but resigned to the fact that not even closed windows can keep the world from spinning onwards. Time, it moves forward, whether we like it or not.

Yom Kippur -- And Amy's Sick Again

Yup, the funky nasty bacteria I had 5 weeks ago is back with a vengeance, which means the Cipro I took that is quite good at killing anthrax didn't do the job for me. So I'm back on Cipro and probably will be for 10 days total to make sure it's all gone this time. I hate to think of what else will be wiped out as well. I've basically been sick since I got here so I'm anxiously awaiting sustained health!!!

Not only have I not been able to attend Yom Kippur services -- if you could see me right now I'm not exactly crying about it :) -- but I cannot go on the HUC tiyul (trip) to the Golan Heights and the Galilee. Between my foot that hurts so bad at times that it is difficult to walk and my unpredictable GI tract, along with a slew of other smaller, related problems, it just isn't going to happen. It won't be good for me and it won't be good for the group, but that doesn't erase the disappoint both Rachel and I feel about me not sharing this interesting experience with her. But who knows, maybe we will have a chance to take a few days and go north and she can show me all of the cool stuff that she sees on the trip. She leaves early Sunday morning and will be back late Tuesday evening. I just keep telling myself that the rest will really be good for me in a lot of ways and worth it in the end.

I slept in on Friday while Rachel went with a friend to the shuk to pick up some last minute necessities and to see the Kaparot near the shuk. A brief description of what Kaparot is reads as follows from a random website: [The original form of the kaparot ceremony involves taking a chicken (a white rooster for a male, hen for a female) and waving it over one’s head while reciting this prayer: "This is my exchange, this is my substitute, this is my atonement. This chicken will go to its death while I will enter and proceed to a good long life, and peace." Then the chicken is slaughtered and it (or its cash value) is given to the poor.]

Okay, so I would not have gone even if I was feeling perfect as I am too sensitive to the pain and suffering of all living creatures. That being said, I think people who participate in this are lying to themselves. It is not a "ritual." It is a sacrifice, in my oh so humble opinion, something that has supposedly been abandoned since the destruction of the 2nd temple. How can a person "exchange, substitute, atone" for their own sins by tormenting, torturing and slaughtering a live, innocent chicken which I'm sure if you asked if that is what it wanted it would most certainly say no. I mean, come on, how would you like for someone to grab and squeeze your arms together and swing you hard and fast over their head, probably breaking shoulder bones in the process and then pulling your head back and slitting your throat. Then they would throw you in some watery stuff that drains your blood while your killer throws sawdust on your blood to "make it all go away." Personally, if I were the Creator upstairs, I'd kind of laugh at the folks who really believe that they can exchange all sins and transgressions for a chicken. If it were that easy, chickens would be an overproduced and overpriced bird as people stupidly believed that they could do whatever they wanted as long as they had a chicken to absolve all of their sins. If there is a redeeming factor it is that the chicken or the monetary equivalent is given to the poor. Or else the chicken ends up in the shuk and is sold to people like me -- talk about funky nasty bacteria!!! If Rachel has a chance, she might be able to elaborate on Kapparot in a less emotional and more intellectual way as I clearly am quite biased. As I write all of this I acknowledge that I eat meat that I'm sure comes from inhumane slaughter -- although not so much here I guess since kosher meat is supposedly slaughtered humanely and it's really hard to find non-kosher meat -- but in the states this is not so. Rachel and I have been talking a lot lately about slowly bringing the ideas behind ethical kashrut into our daily lives, so I am happy to say that we are trying to start living by our words and will be moving to a city and state that makes it easy to be ethical and environmentally friendly in terms of foods.

I didn't make it to dinner at our friend's apartment with Rachel, not that I could have eaten anything, but I did manage to shower and meet her so we could walk to HUC for Kol Nidre. What we had heard about YK in J'lem is most certainly true. By 5pm all of the traffic lights were blinking yellow and the walk signals were blinking red. There were almost no cars left on the roads at that point. We met some friends and walked to the sanctuary together. My prediction turned out to be correct -- there were no seats and people were bringing in plastic chairs. We luckily got some of the first plastic chairs and sat down for the service. I went specifically for Kol Nidre and didn't make it much past that before leaving to go back home. Rachel had told me that it is customary for people from all over to meet on Emek Refaim and walk down the street after Kol Nidre. I obviously wasn't doing this, and when I left HUC there were officially no cars on the streets, so I joined others in walking down the middle of typically very busy and congested streets the whole way home (King David and Keren Ya Hasod specifically).

Once inside, I turned on the TV to see what on earth is playing on Yom Kippur in Jerusalem. Well, absolutely nothing. All of the cable channels but one random channel said that broadcasting would resume at 20:00 the following day. There were also some random news channels on, mostly different BBC channels but no Israeli news channels. I actually read through the evening service in our prayer book at home and then spent a lot of time watching people walking up and down Jabotinsky, yet another normally busy street. It being night and very dark outside made it seem very fictional. If there was no noise I envisioned a scene from a horror movie or something, like all of these zombies walking around in their white clothes. And it seemed so nonsensical to see all of these people on Jabotinsky that I again fictionalized it and thought of a good ole end of the world Hollywood flick where the only thing people knew to do was to wander the streets. Rachel pointed out that this is kind of weird while I call it imaginative and creative. The one thing that really stuck out was the 4 teenage girls, walking, holding hands and singing beautifully, wearing white robe type things. I immediately thought of the film O Brother Where Art Thou when the 3 men come across the 3 women singing on the river's banks. It's interesting how universal religious connotations can end up being.